


I Finally Found You, My Missing Puzzle Piece

by orphan_account



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: M/M, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-08
Updated: 2010-11-08
Packaged: 2017-12-06 02:15:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/730442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>'Foolish boy, he'll never want you,' James thought to himself. </i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/730436">Put Your Hands All Over Me</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Finally Found You, My Missing Puzzle Piece

James awoke the next morning, his body unusually warm. He cracked open an eye and looked around his room before taking in his current predicament. He was naked and in bed with Kendall, their legs tangled together. Kendall, his best friend, who was recently dumped. Kendall, his best friend, who fucked him last night.

James groaned, untangling himself from Kendall's grasp. He slowly stood up feeling the ache in his backside. He tossed the covers over Kendall's naked body before collecting his clothes and throwing them in his laundry basket. He sighed as he plopped down onto his bed, wondering what the fuck had been going through his mind when he decided letting his best friend fuck him was a good idea.

If James was being honest with himself, he had always had a thing for Kendall, way back before he even knew what being gay was, back when girls still had cooties. He remembered meeting Kendall in kindergarten, being instantly smitten with the boy who was confident and didn't cry when his parents dropped him off. James was a blubbering mess that day, clinging to his dad's leg, crying because he just didn't want to go to school, crying because you don't have to go to school to be famous. 

Little 5 year old Kendall had taken one glance at James before walking up to him, asking him if he wanted to play. James' sobs had quieted into tiny whimpers as he let go of his father, nodding shyly at Kendall. Kendall grabbed James' hand and dragged him over to the toy box, promising that they'd be best friends forever. 

James smiled at the memory and true to his word, he and Kendall had been best friends since that day, even when Carlos and Logan entered the picture a few years later. 

James climbed under the covers as he remembered growing up with Kendall, the way Kendall had always looked out for and protected him. He remembered every instance that Kendall's actions had given him butterflies in his stomach, had made his cheeks tinge pink. James wasn't sure when it had happened, but somewhere along the way, he had fallen in love with Kendall and after the previous nights activities, James wasn't sure what that meant for their friendship. 

James burrowed his head into his pillow allowing a few stray tears to escape. He closed his eyes and drifted into an uneasy sleep. 

James was awakened hours later by an incessant knocking at the door. 

"Guys, come on! Gustavo is going to be pissed if we're late today," Logan bellowed. 

'Shit,' James thought. He had forgotten about the extra dance practice that had been scheduled because of Kendall’s lack of effort. 

He slipped out of bed and threw on whatever clothes he could find, walking into the bathroom to brush his teeth once he was dressed. He scrubbed a hand through his hair, sighing pitifully at the state it was in. Much to his dismay he didn't have time to fix it, so he settled for running his comb through it, hoping it looked decent enough as he walked back into the bedroom. 

Kendall was still snoring softly, his face peaceful and relaxed. James hated that he had to wake him, but being a popstar had its price. 

"Kendall, wake up. We have to be at the studio soon," James whispered, shaking Kendall’s sleeping body. 

Kendall slowly opened his eyes at the disturbance, his eyes going wide as he remembered the night before.

"I, uh yeah. I'll be right out," Kendall stammered sleepily. 

James nodded and left the bedroom, his heart dropping into his stomach. He pasted on the best smile he could muster as he greeted Carlos and Logan in the kitchen. He grabbed an apple from the fruit basket and bit into it angrily, upset at himself for thinking Kendall would actually want to be with him.

He stared at the wall as he continued chomping on the apple, his eyes only moving when he heard Kendall walk into the kitchen. He chanced a glance at Kendall, but Kendall quickly darted his attention elsewhere.

James fought the lump forming in his throat as he threw the remainder of the apple into the trash. He carefully walked to the door, the dull ache a reminder of what he could never have again hindering his movements.

To say that dance practice was hell wouldn't even begin to explain it. Coupled with the ever present throb in his ass, it had been downright brutal. To make matters worse, Kendall wouldn't even talk to or look at him. All in all, it was just not James' day. 

When they arrived back at the apartment, James waved off the invitation to a movie, feigning sickness when he really just wanted to be alone. 

After much pleading from Carlos, Kendall had agreed to join him and Logan, James silently thanking whatever diety that was listening. He watched as they left the apartment before walking into his room, stripping off his soiled clothes. He grabbed his towel from where it hung on the closet door and made his way into the bathroom, turning the shower on before stepping in. He sighed as the warm water cascaded down his body, washing away the remnants of sweat that clung to him. He shampooed his hair, enjoying the scent that filled the air. He rinsed his body off, content to stand under the steady stream of warm water that worked at soothing his sore muscles. 

After standing there for a few minutes, James shut off the water and pulled back the shower curtain, grabbing his towel and drying himself off. He wrapped it around his waist and walked into his bedroom, forgoing boxers as he slipped on a pair of sweatpants. He ran the towel through his hair, squeezing out the excess water, tossing the towel to the floor when he was done with it. Emotionally and physically exhausted, James climbed into bed, welcoming the much needed sleep.

James awoke what seemed like only a few hours later, but glancing at the clock, he realized he had been asleep for nearly 12 hours. He rubbed sleepily at his eyes as he sat up in bed, noticing the distinct lack of Kendall. James was hurt. His vision went cloudy as his heart hammered in his chest, the harsh reality of his actions finally rearing its ugly head. He laid back as the tears streamed down, shoving his face into his pillow to muffle his sobs. His heart was breaking. He should have listened when Kendall said he didn't think it was a good idea. That should’ve been enough of a clue that Kendall didn't want him, but he pressed forward, insistent in his actions. Now, now he'd give anything to take it back, to have Kendall talking to him, looking at him.

'Foolish boy, he'll never want you,' James thought to himself. 

"Jamie, what's wrong?" Kendall asked, his voice laced with concern. 

James removed his head from the pillow, confused and bewildered. 

"W-when did you get in here?" James asked through his sobs, avoiding the question. 

"Just now. Are you gonna tell me why you're crying?" Kendall pressed. 

James only shook his head in response, burying his head back into his pillow. 

"Jamie, talk to me," Kendall pleaded. 

"W-why have you been a-avoiding m-me?" James hiccupped. 

"Oh Jamie," Kendall sighed, climbing into the bed behind James. He draped his arm over James' waist, pulling him closer before he continued, "what happened the other night, it confused me. I didn't know how badly I wanted you until I was kissing you, kissing you like it was the only thing I ever wanted to do, like it was what I was made to do, and that scared me. I've never looked at another guy and thought 'oh, he’s really hot,' but then that happened and its all I've been able to think about. You are all I've been able to think about."

"I thought you didn't want me, that you regretted what happened. I know I said it was to help you forget Jo, but mostly it was in hopes that maybe you'd realize I was right in front of you, that I've been in love with you practically my whole life. And when you ignored me, it hurt. I thought you hated me, and that you wouldn't want to be around me anymore," James blubbered out, tears leaking onto the pillow. 

"Jamie, I could never in a million years hate you. You have been my best friend for 11 years, and nothing will change that. I'm sorry I hurt you, and I'm sorry I made you think I didn't want you, because I do. I want you so much, and it really scares me. But I want this, I want you and me, us, every day. Look at me, please?"

James shifted his position, turning so he was looking at Kendall, Kendall’s arm still wrapped protectively around his waist. He looked into Kendall’s eyes and saw everything he needed: love, friendship, sincerity.

"Please believe me when I say I want you. I want you today, and tomorrow and next week, and next month, and I'll still want you twenty years down the road. I love you, now and forever, okay?"

James nodded as Kendall’s words sank in, his tears finally subsiding. 

Kendall captured James' lips in a kiss full of passion, their lips fitting together as if they were made to be that way. They pulled apart and rested their foreheads together gazing into each others' eyes. 

Their eyes held love and the promise of commitment, and together, they knew they'd be okay.


End file.
